Backdoor entry is a deal-breaker for many women — a no-way, no-how, entirely off-limits scenario. Still, more than a third of women For some women, like me, anal sex can be a mind-blowing addition to the bedroom. Anal sex has always been a welcome precursor to vaginal penetration and other below-the-belt play. The key, for me, is to have a patient partner — one whom I trust. Oh, and plenty of lube. For me to engage in anal sex, I need to be fully relaxed, lubed, and ready. Anne Hodder , ACS, a multi-certified sex and relationships educator, says a successful anal experience is most often the result of communication, relaxation, preparation, lubrication, and at least initially gentle stimulation. Here are my top 25 tips on how to enjoy anal sex :.
1. Relax your mind...and body
I mean, gross. As I got older, I became less of a stick in the mud and decided to give anal more of a chance. Eventually, I discovered that, done right, women absolutely loved it , and soon I enjoyed it a fair bit too. The fear for her, that comes with accepting you into the wrong hole These things enhance the experience for her as well. So, there are a couple of NSFW images near the end of this post — you have been forewarned. However, with anal sex, you have a part of the body that does not produce natural lubrication, is not designed for or used to intense back-and-forth friction, and is controlled by a sphincter that can open quite wide, yet as a protective measure does not and can not unless and until she is extremely relaxed and ready for it. Additionally, the way many men try to perform anal sex — doggystyle, except with penis in butt instead of penis in vagina — is not well suited to providing orgasms, nor a maximally pleasurable experience. So before we can make her orgasm from anal, there are four 4 things we need to take care of first:. How bad that would be.
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2. No, Really: Prepare
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More young women than ever—45 percent—are trying anal, according to the latest research from the Kinsey Institute. If you're considering having anal sex for the first time, you're probably wondering how to prepare, relax, and enjoy the intimate moment with your partner. We called in the experts: Rachel Needle , Psy. The last thing you want to be before attempting anal is tense. If this is your first time trying anal sex, spend some time relaxing—take a hot bath, ask your partner to give you a sensual massage, heck, you can even meditate. You can also focus on specifically relaxing your anal muscles. To see what that feels like, tighten your butt muscles—kind of like a kegel for the other end—and then release.